I'm not scared!

I'm not worried, I'm not scared. Bring it on, deployment! I won't let that calendar get me down and keep knotting my stomach. I'm gonna take this head on, just like the Aries/Ram I am, and kick some ass while I'm at it. ;)

In other great news, I finally uploaded a bunch of photos to that digital photo frame I've had for over 2 years. It's sitting in the kitchen corner where I can see it from nearly every angle in the rooms I hang out in. I love seeing those pictures of Brandon, me, Dexter, Winston, and our families. It brings a smile to my face with every silly photo I put on there. Yay me.

O Canada!

In exactly one month, I go on a two week trip to Canada!



Can you tell I'm excited? I seriously haven't been to Canada for 7 (8?) years, and it's been too long. People always call me a Canadian and I haven't stepped foot inside the country for close to a decade. Geez, a decade? Anyway, I'm super excited. As many of you should know, I was born in Canada and moved to the US when I was 12. My entire family (save for my sisters and parents) live in Canada. Most of them in the greater Ottawa area. So that's where I'm headed!

My cousin is getting married July 31 and my sister, seeing as Brandon is deploying, suggested I go on a trip. I asked Brandon (I didn't have a job then and those plane tickets cost a bunch) and he said sure! He even said I should go for two weeks instead of one since I'm flying all that way.

I have plans to visit museums, Parliament, my old "digs" and of course, all that family of mine. I'm gonna miss my puppy (and maybe that cat...) but it'll be a wonderful trip and something to keep my mind off Brandon being gone.

Yay for Canada!

This is the week!

Our past few weeks have been accentuated by lasts. Last four day weekend. Last time we'll go to this restaurant together. Last time we'll go to this beach or walk down this street. Last time to wash the car. Last time to grocery shop for two. Last Friday together, last Saturday, last Sunday...

I'm not worried. I've had the best couple of weeks with Brandon in awhile. We've been laughing together, sharing moments, making up new quotes to giggle about, checking out favorite restaurants and even trying a new place or two. We've been going on almost every night and we've been keeping the days busy. I don't want to say I don't enjoy every minute with him usually, but the minutes we've been having have been so wonderful I'm glad we're going into this deployment with fond memories of each other.

Life is a series of moments. A year is just a bunch of moments wrapped in a package. So what if I'm not spending it with my husband, the guy I promised to spend my whole life with? Just because he isn't beside me doesn't mean life ends entirely for me. I'm using this next year to grow internally, shrink externally, maintain great friendships, get the ball rolling on this writing career, and become a better me. When he gets back, we can become a better WE, but for the next year, it'll just be ME.

That's ok with me though! Brandon said it great today, "I think if we just keep ourselves busy a year will fly by." I hope so. The last few years have flown by for me.

Now, let me share a few pictures of us and of Brandon. I love this guy!!


I hated that shirt, but I LOVE those arms! This is our first photo ever together. We had been dating for two months now, but this was only our fifth date since we were 100 miles apart.


He finally brought me shooting! This was Sept 06.


Skipping forward to Halloween 2006. I was a pirate and he was a construction worker.


We spent the weekend after getting engaged at the Great Sand Dunes in CO. Brandon was resting on my leg after cooking us a steak dinner. I love his face in this picture.


When he got commissioned, a week before our wedding. Yep, that's me in my ROTC uniform. Remember, I did 4 years of ROTC too!


Brandon's grandma got us an underwater camera for our wedding. This is on our honeymoon. I think it describes Brandon well.


This one too, hehe



Ok, I added more pics than I expected, so I skipped a couple years to this, our babies! Brandon has been a great father to Dexter and Winston. I know he'll be a great daddy to a real baby, whenever that happens!

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In

Before I get started, I'd like to say a big THANKS to all my blog followers! I appreciate your wonderful comments and words of advice. You're so great! Thanks for following this blog and thanks for following my other blog, which will be starting very soon. Just... thanks. :)

Wife of a Sailor has started a new thing called MilSpouse Friday Fill-In. Just answering some questions so we get to know each other better. I don't usually do these things but I felt like blogging today and since I didn't have much to say, here are some answers to some questions!



1. How did you and your spouse/significant other meet?
We were both in the same ROTC program at the same university. He was very shy (sort of still is) and I was a bit of a flirt to him, haha. He would stand behind me in formation and I would say "You stand there so you can look at my butt *wink*" and he would say "Nope, I stand here so I can see" (since I'm short and he's not!). We'd giggle, it was cute. I had boyfriend's though and even when I didn't, he was nervous about making a move.

That first year of school I have good memories of him, all with ROTC events. Like when we went skiing in February 2006 and he stayed behind with me. Or at Spring FTX and I realized I really really liked him. He was horribly sick, but he put up with me. Oh, and when I had surgery and he defended me because I couldn't run. I remember paintballing with ROTC, and him, and Brandon showing me the cool new pistol he had (and still has). He promised me he'd bring me shooting for my birthday (which he did in September after we started dating, even though my b-day is in April).

In May 2006, I ended up confessing my love to him ;). Ok, I called him and said I liked him. He then asked me out on a date. We got married two years later! Wow, this section was longer than I anticipated...

2. What is the best thing about being a MilSpouse?
The benefits? Hehe.

I think the best thing is the the community. I love that I have this great group of friends who are all in the same boat as me. It's hard for me to describe right now (mostly because I'm watching Brandon drag Dexter in circles with his rope toy...) but it's this overarching community in the military life that is just... awesome. I love that as a military spouse you can fit in so well on post, online, on a blog and a forum. The support the community offers is phenomenal. We're all in it together.

3. What is the hardest thing about being a MilSpouse?
I would say deployments, but I don't know if that's it. It's the anticipation of separation. I know he'll be gone and it makes it hard on life sometimes. It's like I'm scrambling for all the time I can get. I put life on hold so I can spend as many moments with him as possible. Military spouses aren't like regular spouses. We don't have tons of girl nights because we want to spend each night with our spouse. We don't like to miss any moments with them. This makes it hard.

4. What is your favorite dish?
The ones in the backyard that give me my TV?

Woo, I'm in a joking mood today! I just asked Brandon what my favorite thing to eat is and he said "Peas." Well, I do like peas... actually, I love them! Today I'm gonna say my favorite dish is the Fried Eggplant and Gorgonzola meal at Auntie Pasto's. It's so delicious! Now something I make? I have no idea! I make a lot of great dishes that I crave all the time. I've become a very good cook.

5. If you could change one thing in this world, what would it be?
This is a toughy. Today I say... corruption. I want to get rid of corruption in our world leader's. I'm not going to elaborate because I don't think I'm an expert on this (my knowledge comes mostly from Glenn Beck and my husband, haha), but the loss of corruption would help the world out a bit!

Hot!!

Wow, I am hot!! I should've worn a tank top today because I just went on a walk with Dexter and I'm sweating like crazy. Well, I shouldn't have gone on a walk at the hottest time of day nor should I be wearing two shirts right now (tank top, t-shirt). I'm wearing shorts though!

The seasons change here without warning. In Colorado it was so much easier: You knew when spring was coming, when summer, when autumn and winter came. Brandon and I got a shock when Christmas was three weeks away and we were still in shorts and t-shirts. I couldn't believe it! No warning whatsoever. Summer kind of just happened too. I mean, we're living in a tropical place, but I'd like some warning so I know that summer is here. Now the temperature reads near 90F every day.

I can't say I hate it though. I love hot weather, I love being hot. I'm naturally cold blooded. I just get cold very easily. I think it has something to do with my hypoglycemia, but who knows? I'd rather be hot and sweating than freezing cold. This comes from the Canadian born, huh?

All is well here, just counting down the days to D-Day. Oh, that reminds me, I was going to write a little introduction on my other blog. Hm... here I go. ;)

Emotional Wreck

That's me!

Someone told me long ago, there's a calm before the storm.
I know. It's been coming for some time.
When it's over, so they say. It'll rain a sunny day.
I know. Shinin' down like water.

Of course, this song comes on as we're driving home from seeing Get Him to the Greek and I'm being an emotional wreck. Seriously, don't know what's wrong with me. Ok, I do. Brandon is deploying. But goodness, I didn't think it was affecting me like this! I was going on my merry way, getting ready, and just recently I've been just wanting to cry and break down. I've been moody and snappy too.

So as we're driving home, I'm just filled with this sense that I'm going to cry. I'm giving excuses not to because really, I just don't like crying. "The gate guard will think something is up..." "My face will be all red and puffy!" "I don't want to be snotty...". I didn't cry too much, some tears got out. I told Brandon I wish I had some hormonal excuse to why I was crying so much lately, and being sorta mean too, but really, I don't. Bleh.

It'll go away soon! I don't want to be like this forever!

Has it been that long?

- It's been 3 days since I blogged, and my last blog wasn't so exciting.
- I haven't written anything in novel/story form in a few weeks now.
- I haven't picked up dog poop or mowed in 2.5 weeks, or so.
- I haven't watched TV in like 3 weeks, except for small doses of The Soup, Glenn Beck and one episode of Glee.

Today we did professional photos. This is something I really wanted to do before Brandon deploys. We tried to do it last week but the girl ended up going to the hospital - yikes! She was great, though, and I'm excited to see how the photos turn out. Don't worry, don't worry, I'm going to post some online. It'll probably show up on my deployment blog!

This weekend is just filled with stuff, but it's enjoyable stuff. My friend had her baby shower today. Two of my friends are due the same day, both with boys, and I can't tell you how excited I am! They keep threatening me with baby sitting, diaper changing, and baby holding duties, but it doesn't scare me. I'm very excited to meet these little boys finally!

Tomorrow we're going to scuba dive Three Tables again. Have I mentioned that place yet? It's a great dive site! We're going with a buddy from Brandon's work. By the way, Brandon is no longer a Platoon Leader. He switched jobs back to HHC and is working in the S3 shop. That's fine, I like desk work for him when he's deployed! Oh, I can count the days on all my fingers and a few toes...

Monday is a day of doctor's appointments, errands and... well, that's all. It's super busy, you should see my list. I'm excited for Wednesday, though, because I'm meeting a friend at the dog beach. Yay!

All in all, life is good. D-day looming, I got emotional yesterday, but that's how it works. I'm not scared, I'm anxious to just get it started. The anticipation is worse. Though I imagine a couple months from now I'll be hating it. Luckily, I have a two week vacation a month after he leaves to keep me busy. That'll be good! I no longer have a writer's conference (got cancelled, boo), but I have a sister coming to visit in October and a trip back to Colorado for Christmas. Also, I have a great group of friends.

There I go, rambling again! I have blogs to read!

Coming quick!

The day is fast approaching! And now the day might be changing. Well, that's the Army for you, right? Everything is always changing. I'm just prepared for it to change at any moment. If it does, then it does. If it doesn't, well cool, we'll keep to the original plan!

Yesterday we had an FRG meeting. They just told us a lot of the stuff that we should know: Where the guys should be going, when they should be leaving, what to expect for communication, when we can send mail, what would happen if someone died or was wounded. I tried not to let that last part get to me. There's just a few things I'd rather acknowledge with a passing glance and then continue on my way.

Otherwise, life has been going like normal here. Sunday we spent at the beach with some good friends of ours. Brandon tried to carry Dexter into the ocean and the poor puppy was scared out of his mind. Once Brandon let him go, Dexter ran onto the beach and kept running. I had to chase him down and get someone to grab him, haha. Never again! It was a good time, though. I needed to keep Brandon out of the house so he didn't experience too much of the Sunday blues.

I'm working a lot this week. Like 40 hours a lot. It's been good the last couple of days. I like my job because I get to talk all the time and share stories with people, as well as ask them where they're from and about their lives. My job is pretty easy. I'm still struggling with it, but that's the way it goes, I suppose, when you haven't worked for a year and jump right back into a new job!

Anyway, I'd like you to spread the word of my deployment blog. I'm warning you: I won't be blogging at this address while Brandon is deployed. That means, I'm switching to the other blog. I'd like you to come over and see what it's all about! It'll start soon, way too soon!

Fatigue

I've been tired the last few days. Not like normal tired, like needing a nap/going to bed by 6pm kind of tired. Just exhausted. And seriously, I haven't done much (like lots of activities outside my normal range) to warrant this. So I turn to you, blogger world, to be my doctor today! Here are a few reasons for my fatigue I'm tossing around:

1. Just got done on Tuesday with 2 weeks of guests in our house and spending every day I didn't work driving around the island.
2. Not drinking enough water.
3. Sleeping... too much?
4. Eating too much sugar. If anyone knows hypoglycemia (which I have) like I do, you would know how bad sugar affects the hypoglemic. I admit, those brownies on the counter aren't helping. Nor is the yummy other sugary substances, namely ice cream, I've been devouring.
5. Eating too much in general. I mentioned guests coming... that means lots of eating out!
6. A couple pounds of weight gain over the last couple of weeks as a result of #5.
7. Not working since Monday. I know, work should tire me out, but spending a few days laying around the house could have adverse affects on me!

Ok, I mentioned a bit more than a few reasons, but what do you think? Anyone want to support these findings or add their own opinions? I'm tired of being tired!

It's been a good day

So I want to tell you all about it. This might be long, so I'll try and add some photos for your viewing enjoyment. ;)

We started the day by waking up almost at 8 - which is super sleeping in for us! Then we spent the next hour or so chilling, playing on the computer, watching TV, you know. Then it was time to get moving. After our shower we went to ACS to get me a Blue Star Card (a card for families who have a deployed member). That was fairly painless to get. Next stop was the community center so I can sign up to get the yard mowed while Brandon's gone. All this was easy and fast, so we got home earlier than planned.

Then it was off to Barnes and Noble's! Brandon expressed interest in getting a nook for Iraq, and I said "If that's what you want, sure." Well we looked at them (this is maybe the third time we've been there to look) and then browsed the store for other things. Brandon got himself a journal to write in for Iraq. Then we went to the register and got not one, but TWO nooks!



I didn't expect him to get me one, but he didn't want me to get jealous because of all the cool gadgets he was getting. Fine by me ;). We're just waiting for them to charge so we can play with them.

Next stop was Whole Foods for some lunch. I got a delicious vegetarian Mediterranean sandwich and Brandon got a huge, yummy burrito. I also got a diet soda made with stevia (if you haven't heard of stevia, go look it up, it's great!) and Brandon got an organic soda. I love Whole Foods!

We started towards Waikiki next. We had reservations for a high-speed catamaran ride at the Outrigger hotel. Let me tell you, it was great. They played music, served great drinks, we rode the waves, got to see beautiful coastline, and soaked up the sun. All for $20 each! We're definitely going again. Once they found out Brandon was in the military they were shaking his hand and even gave him a free drink. I love the appreciation people show for the military. :)

We were on this thing:


Funny Story: They required us to throw all our shoes in a box. Brandon ended up having nearly identical shoes as another guy, so when we went to get his shoes, he had one of his shoes and one of the other guys shoes. Luckily we caught the guy in the hotel, had a nice chat about shoes, and got his pair in order. It was great!

We topped off the day downtown with pizza at Giovanni Pastrami's. There was a basketball game going on so the whole restaurant was real loud, but it was fun. We don't watch sports and definitely not basketball but since it was on the screen we both chose a team (Me: Celtics, Him: Lakers) to cheer for. My team won, btw. ;)

Now we're home! We're planning on watching a movie soon but until then we're enjoying some time outside. Oh, and I came home to this guy, could it be any better?



Of course, a blog can't describe what a great day Brandon and I are having, but I've tried. It's just been a good day!

A Busy Two Weeks

Wow! We were so busy! We dropped Brandon's parents off at the airport last night, came home, passed out and woke up 10 hours later (ok, I woke up earlier to let Dexter out... but then fell asleep again). We have been moving, moving, moving, and we are exhausted. I even got some breaks when I worked, but on the days I spent with them, it was exhausting. I got tired of the beach, tired of the car, tired of walking. I missed my TV, my clean kitchen, my freedom to walk around the house naked... ok, I don't do that very often, but Brandon sure missed it. ;)

Anyway, we had a lot of fun. The two weeks went by so fast we couldn't believe it. We spent more time at the beach than ever before. Got a few sunburns too. We got to do a luau, ATV and Ocean Voyaging at Kualoa Ranch, scuba diving, snorkeling, hiking. We got to eat so much good food that I don't want to eat anymore, haha. But it was fun. Here are some pics. ;)

Brandon and his sister on the Ocean Voyage


Brandon on his ATV


Brandon and I at the luau with our tattoos ;)


On a hike!


Brandon's family snorkeling


In the car the last day

Cloudy

I think I had too much sugar today because I'm feeling myself slipping into more of a depressed mood today. I can't keep my eyes off the calendar. I'm not really counting the days until he leaves but I feel them coming closer. It's looming. There's this permanent cloud over my life, our lives, and we're hoping we can make it home before it rains because we don't have an umbrella. The cloud is about to burst.

It doesn't help that our visitors are still here. Right about now I want to curl up with Brandon, let him rub my back and make me feel better like he always does, but I can't. I can barely fit on the couch. It's killing me that I've lost total control of my house these last two weeks. All I can see is mess. And it's not even that messy. But that's what I see. I see the stuff on the counters and the pet fur along the baseboards. I feel the sand under my feet and the something stinky on the kitchen floor. I'm losing my mind!

Our guests leave tomorrow night. It was fun having them here, it really has been. I'm exhausted from doing tons of things, but it's been nice being a sort of tourist. I've let my emotions get the best of me sometimes. I have an issue with letting go on control (as noted in the above paragraph). I like things a certain way and sometimes I get whiny/snappy when they aren't. I've been trying so hard to be nice and be good. I really have been. I know I've slipped up more times than I'd like to admit and I'm sorry for that. I really enjoy having our guests. The problems all lie with me.

I feel the pressure of this deployment coming on. Sometimes I feel good about him leaving. I have a plan, I have friends, I can take care of myself. Then I think of cooking dinner for one, doing only my laundry, sharing a bed with only my dog and my pillows, and laughing at our favorite TV shows alone. I just wish it was here so I can just start it, already. But then I don't. I see myself holding out my hand and feeling each day, each hour, slipping by. I love him! It is what it is. This too shall pass.

Sorry if this is rambling too much... I'm just going with my train of thought right now... thanks for reading. :) Writing always soothes me a little bit and I know there's some of you out there who have been through this before who can give me some advice!

Ah!

I follow too many blogs! With the in-laws here, I've hardly had time to keep up with reading them all. It makes me sad. :(

But hey, I have a few blogs, too. Why don't you check out this one? ======================>

Nope, the button underneath that one that says "Check out my deployment blog." Click that button. Good. :) I want you to start following that blog because soon, VERY soon, sooner than we all expect, I'll be posting solely on that blog. It's my deployment blog! It'll be the same stuff from Chantal's Blog, but in a more centralized place. The plan? Writing a blog every single day documenting my experience through my husband's first deployment. It won't only be about deployment, it'll just be about life. So please please check it out and follow it.

Hopefully everything will settle down and I'll be able to get back into my good old routine...

PS: I'm so tired of the beach! Even with these breaks I get when I go to work, I'm overloaded with beach. I don't think I'll go ever again when my in-laws leave. Haha, I will... but not for a week. I'm tired of the beach!

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Food!

So our anniversary dinner was AMAZING

I had to work until 6pm, so I was looking for a good restaurant to go to. A coworker suggested Ruth's Chris Steakhouse. At first I thought "Great!" then I thought about the price and was like "Hm..." and then I decided "Let's do it." (Pretty much). So I made a reservation for 8pm.

We dressed up (well, aloha shirt for Brandon, a summer dress for me), drove downtown and checked into the Hale Koa hotel for the night, and then walked over to dinner. We got seated in this comfy booth. The lighting was dim, romantic, the music wasn't loud, and it had a good atmosphere. First, the water guy came over and brought bread. He asked us if we'd like bottled water or ice water (huh). We just chose ice, it's easier.

Our waiter came over. He was a nice guy who we later found out lived in Colorado Springs for some time. We ordered a bottle of White Zinfandel, probably the cheapest on the menu but it's my favorite wine. He poured our glasses for us and continued to refill them, we didn't have to touch the bottle once! The manager even came over twice to help us out.

I had a coupon for a free appetizer (hey, I can bring coupons to fancy restaurants), so we got some calamari. It was fantastic. Then we both ordered a 3-course meal for $45. We got salad with a creamy lemon basil that was light and not overpowering. Then came our entree. Brandon got a rib eye and I got a veal chop. They both were cooked perfectly and melted in your mouth. The last part we had strawberry sorbet that tasted divine.

The waiter had asked if it was our anniversary, so at the end of our meal he brought over some chocolate covered strawberries and some sparkling wine, on the house. The strawberries were perfect! I was pretty full but I devoured it all. I loved it!

The great thing we liked about being there is that they didn't rush us. We had plenty of time between all our food to relax, talk and digest. We spent more time at that restaurant than we do anywhere else. It was comfortable, they were accommodating, and the food was excellent. After dinner we went back to the Hale Koa to relax and eventually made it to bed.

It was a fantastic anniversary!

Looks like we made it...

Look how far we've come, my baby!

*cough* Sorry, I had to do it. Well, today marks my 2 year anniversary to my lovely Brandon. We've had a good two years of marriage and a good four years of being together. I couldn't ask for a better guy! He's smart, can fix things, is a good cook and can handle a vacuum like a pro, and he's just funny and makes me laugh every day. Sure, we have our moments of tension, but it just makes the good moments even better. I feels like yesterday we were getting married and here we are, 2 years later! I can't wait for another 100 years with him!

Time for a photo montage of our life together!


















Ok, I tried to get the photos in order of our relationship, from most recent to oldest... but that didn't totally work out in the end. Ah well, I could fix it, but I'm lazy!

I love you Brandon!

All signs point to...

Well, we went to the beach today. That was fun! Until Brandon came back from boogie boarding, sat down and said "Did I take the car key out of my pocket?"

Nope.

Thank goodness Brandon's mom had her cell phone in the bag, albeit dying, we managed to call the insurance company to get a car-unlocker out while also trying to contact friends to come pick us up (thanks mom for your help!). No one came to get us, but Brandon asked the car-unlocker guy if he could drive him home (a good 45 min away). The guy said sure! That was great. I had to sit in the newly unlocked car while Brandon got a drive home so he could bring back the spare key. Thank goodness we have a spare key.

The reason we didn't get towed was because 1) our house keys were in the car, and 2) it would have cost us tons of money to get a taxi from where we were back home! Well, I had some signs that this would happen...

Sign 1
As we were leaving at about 9:30am, I told Brandon "I hope we're not out all day." Well, we were. We didn't get home until past 6 because of this key fiasco!

Sign 2
As we were leaving the car at the beach I thought "I should bring my phone with me... nah, I won't need it." I so did... it's a good thing I know at least one phone number by heart: My mom's! (I also know my husband's, but that doesn't help)

Sign 3
Brandon's dad asked Brandon if he should go back to the car to get the other boogie board, which would have required Brandon to take the key out of his pocket. They decided not to.

So all these signs plus more pointed to us losing our key! Now we can't unlock the glove box, though we can start the car.