In the middle of everywhere...

I just remembered I have a vacuum in my trunk for my little sister... lol. Oh, and I need to return the Comcast box! Ah! I'll do that tomorrow.

Ok, back to what I was going to say. I am fully moved into my mom's house. When was the last time I posted? Monday? So Tuesday I had to wait for the movers to come and actually load the truck. So I got there at 8am. And waited... and waited... and waited. They finally arrived a little after 5pm. That's 9 hours!! What a horrible day. And then it took them 2.5 hours to load the truck, which really wasn't bad, but still I was exhausted.

So living here is interesting. There are a LOT of people here. 3 renters, 2 parents, 1 stepbrother, 1 sister, 1 Chantal, and 3 dogs. And then they're getting another renter coming this Sunday, so I have to move in with Jessica for the remainder.

My nanny is coming down soon though! She's coming to take care of my poor mom. :)

PPWC and Moving

I attended the Pikes Peak Writer's Conference this weekend, and needless to say, it rocked! I went as Mallory's chaperone, so technically I wasn't attending, but I still took notes and chatted with people about my writing. I met James N. Frey, Jeffery Deaver, Barbara Samuel, Deborah Leblanc, and a bunch of other writers. It was amazing.

Friday we attended three seminars before the dinner (which I didn't pay for, but got a free meal anyway, yay). The first was Marketing and Promoting, taught by Deborah Leblanc. It had some great information. I totally forget what we attended for the second one, so I'll have to fill in later, haha. The third was a fiction synopsis class, which was kind of boring, but helpful.

Saturday we first went to the continental breakfast. Then we had 3 seminars in the morning. The first was Writing a Historical Novel, which for me had some good information, but Mallory didn't like it as much. The second we attended was Transformational Characters Arcs, by Linda Seger, who was a helpful teacher. Her class was good. The third, before lunch, was another class... wow, I'm having trouble remembering! Lunch was good, and then we worked in the bookstore for a bit. I bought a few books, haha. They're helpful though. And then we had two more classes about goals and time management, and getting unstuck.

Sunday we had the continental breakfast again, and then off to our final 3 classes! Another class by Deborah Leblanc about creating memorable characters, and then a class outlining Front Story, Backstory, and Foreshadowing. The final class was on theme by Linda Seger, yet another helpful class! Then we had lunch and we were off!

The weekend went by so fast, and affirmed the fact that I want to be a writer. It'll be extremely hard work and I need to keep that in mind, but I also need to make sure it doesn't dissuade me from writing. I love writing so much and love my stories. So that's the plan for the future!

The movers are here right now. Their names are Richard and Josh. They are packing all my stuff. They are also very nice and keep chatting with me. I'm going to buy them pizza!

Anniversary Gifts

Our anniversary is coming up soon! About 5 weeks! It's exciting. I can't believe it's gone by so fast. It's been pretty easy too. 3 more weeks until I move to Georgia, I definitely can't wait. I miss him so much. I forget what it's like to live with him! haha. I'll get into the swing of things fairly quickly.

So I've always wanted to do special anniversary gifts. I looked up the traditional gifts, and I love the idea! I also found many lists that say both traditional and modern gifts that are given every anniversary.

This year: Paper or Clocks.

So we decided that we would get each other a gift with one of those themes. I figure paper is the easiest... but if I see a clock thing, maybe I'll do that! I'll need to do some shopping around! I hope Brandon doesn't forget. :P

Me

I feel like I'm going insane. I feel like I'm falling apart physically, emotionally, mentally. I feel helpless. I feel alone. I feel crazy. I feel depressed. I feel happy sometimes. I feel sad most times. I feel like I'm drifting and that I'll die before I land.

So this is it?

Just quick

I've been horribly busy. Depressed about things. I haven't really wanted to type at all! I've started to write in my diary my more private matters, and since this time right now is for more private things, Blogspot goes by the wayside. I can't risk anyone seeing things! Though I don't believe many read this...

It was my birthday last Saturday, April 4. I'm 22 now! Yay.

I have 5 more weeks until I move to Georgia. It couldn't come quicker. For reals.

Thoughts on the Tao, #2

Have you ever gotten so bored that you have so much to do, but you can't do any of it? That's how I was yesterday. I've been in Georgia since last Friday night and it's been great! Brandon started work on Monday and I wasn't really affected by boredom until yesterday. Seriously, going crazy. Maybe because I didn't leave the house once while I was here yesterday. Every day I try and leave the house for a walk or run or something! Today I left this morning to help Brandon with his car in the dealership, so that was nice. I also have to bring back the rental car later! I might go to Barnes and Nobles beforehand... just because I love that store!

Anyway, here is the next Tao reflection. I tried to format the last one like the book... but it wasn't working, I guess I need more HTML skills than breaks and italics, bold, and underline... :P

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When people find one thing beautiful,
another consequently becomes ugly.
When one man is held up as good,
another is judged deficient.

Similarly, being and nonbeing balance each other;
difficult and easy define each other;
long and short illustrate each other;
high and low rest upon one another;
voice and song meld into harmony;
what is to come follows upon what has been.

The wise person acts without effort
and teaches by quiet example.
He accepts things as they come,
creates without possessing,
nourishes without demanding,
accomplishes without taking credit.

Because he constantly forgets himself,
he is never forgotten.

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There is a balance to life, everything is balance. Therefore, we must have death to have life. This verse also outlines how to be a wise person.

I'm burnt out... maybe later...

-Chantal-

Reflections on the Tao Te Ching, #1

I found much comfort in high school in the Tao Te Ching, written by Lao Tzu. Now I've been needing some comfort, and the words of philosophy helps so much. I found myself at the bookstore and decided to pick up this book - I have been wanting to do that for years and years. I was reading it quickly and thought I needed to slow down and take in one saying at a time, probably one a day. Sure, it would take awhile, but doesn't the Tao teach patience?

I'll copy down the translation I have (from Tao Te Ching, Lao Tzu, translated by Brian Browne Walker, 1995), and then give my own analysis... or just leave it at that. See how I feel!

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Tao is beyond words
and beyond understanding.
Words may be used to speak of it,
but they cannot contain it.

Tao existed before words and names,
before heaven and earth,
before the ten thousand things.
It is the unlimited father and mother
of all limited things.

Therefore, to see beyond boundaries
to the subtle heart of things,
dispense with names,
with concepts,
with expectations and ambitions and differences.

Tao and its many manifestations
arise from the same source:
subtle wonder within mysterious darkness.

This is the beginning of all understanding.

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To me, Tao is like the spirit that flows throughout the world. It is in the rocks and trees and sky and wind. It is in every single person, whether they recognize it or not. To attempt to grasp Tao is to begin to understand. But you must let go of the conventional way of understanding - go "beyond boundaries" and let go of all you knew. Then we will understand Tao.

-Chantal-