July 29th, 2008

I don't know what I want to do with my life anymore! I came to college thinking I wanted a career in the military. That changed fairly quickly... now I just want to do my time and finish it up. I don't even know if I want to go active Army, I'll probably do reserves if I can.

But if I do reserves, I don't know what I'll do! If I'm not active reserves, what would I do with that extra time? I want to get my master's, but I don't know if we can afford that. And I especially don't want to end up in a dead end job. I don't want to work these part time jobs anymore once I'm done with college.

I've always said I wanted to be a writer, but I just can't seem to get the drive to do it. I love writing, don't get me wrong. But I just can't get started. My mind starts thinking of my stories, and how I don't have the same confidence in them as I once had. I know they're great and people will want to hear them. But what if they don't?

I was thinking of maybe being a teacher. After working day camp, I enjoy it alot. Of course, I'd want to teach high school, not elementary. I think I could do that though. And have the summers and breaks off to be with my kids would be pretty awesome.

I want to start a family in a few years with Brandon. He wants me to stay at home with the kids, and probably forever. That kind of bothers me. I know I want to stay at home for the first couple years, but I don't want to be a stay at home mom and wife for the rest of my life. Unless, of course, I work on my writing more. Then I won't have an office, I'll work from home!

Oh, I don't know what to do anymore...

July 23rd, 2008

20 more days until I see Brandon!! It feels much sooner when I count days... "a little under 3 weeks" sounds so long from now! I'm soooo excited. I can't wait to see my boy. :)

I'm kind of mad at my UC job... just because of circumstances out of my control! I have to work every single weekend until basically September, except of course for my trip to Seattle. It doesn't upset me TOO much because I'm getting lots of hours and money. But still! I had planned some things and now it's crashing down, and I have to rearrange. And I'm worried that I'll get scheduled on a Sunday randomly and have to work 7 days or more! And working 45 hours+ with both my jobs combined makes me tired...

I'm tired right now! And I only worked an hour and a half today! Oh... I'm so tired. :( I need a break!

July 20th, 2008

Brandon has now been gone for 4 weeks and 1 day! Basically a month. It's been difficult, but it feels easier as time goes on. I suppose you just get used to it! The first couple weeks were the hardest. We've gotten into a routine now though. Ever since he got his laptop, life without him at home has improved! He has a webcam, I have a webcam, we get to "see" each other almost every night. We talk on IM alot, and on the phone as much as possible. Of course, we text ALL the time. The key to being apart is constant communication!

I get to see him in a little over 3 weeks. Since we bought the plane ticket to Seattle, I've just been so excited. We've been planning what we'll be doing! Of course, we have to see the Space Needle and the Pike Place Market. I'm excited about those two! And there's also a cool looking underground tour of Seattle. Definately going to that. And we're also going to Chipotle (lol), because Brandon wants some and there is only one Chipotle in Seattle! Haha.

The weeks pass quickly! I have a routine down. My work schedule changes, but nothing else changes much. Tuesday and Friday are Netflix movie nights. Jessica comes over those nights and watches movies with me. She's been great company during Brandon's absence! Monday nights Jon & Kate Plus 8 has a new episode. I've become addicted to that show. And on Tuesday's is the new show "Secret Life of an American Teenager". I like that show. The acting isn't the best, and it's kinda corny, but I'm hooked...

Otherwise, I play Sims2 alot! I got some new EP's for that and I've been playing like mad. I've had the same family for a year, I'm on generation 14 I think. It's addicting as well. I love my Sims!

Life has been treating me alright. There are some ups and downs, but I take every day as it is.

July 14th, 2008

I hate you kind of people. I used to be one of you. Speeding down the highway like you own it. Glaring at people who are going 5 or 10mph over the speed limit because they're in your way. Don't you know how dangerous it is? Don't you know you aren't getting anywhere any faster?

Maybe you like to feel how fast your minivan goes.

I understand, it feels great to speed. I get that. I was like that. I got my license at 18. In the next two years, I had been pulled over 6 times, gotten 4 tickets and had to take an "Alive at 25" class. Don't think that if you're over 25, you're home free. They have an "Alive at 50" class too. I saw people being sentenced to that horrible fate when I learned I had to take my class. That's ok, though, because I didn't get any points off my license.

I've been pulled over twice on the highway. It was rough. I was driving quick, listening to great music, enjoying my quick 1987 Acura Integra. Wind in my hair. Every time I've been pulled over, I was going 10 to 20 over the speed limit. I've changed my ways. I cheat sometimes, I know, I'm not perfect... but I try to stay only 5mph over or less. I try to be good.

When the highway changes from 75mph to 60mph then to 55mph, it does not mean continue going 75mph. It does not even mean speed up! It means slow down. I try to do that. Yeah, sometimes it's hard to do. I went into the left lane. That means I'm going slow. Don't come up on my ass and moved from side to side. Don't raise your hands up in frustration. Don't even go around me. That pisses me off too. Slow down.

When and if you do go around me, don't speed up to 100mph just to show me how fast that white 1999 minivan of yours goes. You have kids in the car, seriously. Not only is it unsafe, can you imagine how much they will make fun of you for getting pulled over?

And then there's the look the driver gives you. I do it too. But I give it to people who are going 30mph in a 45 zone. That's just crazy. No, don't give me that glare when you're passing me at 100mph like I'm hindering your progress down the road. I'm sorry for going the speed limit. Wait, I'm not. You're a dumbass. Keep your freakin' eyes on the road. Sorry for the harsh words. I want to be nice to you.

You drive quick, whatever works for you. Minivans rarely get pulled over. It just amazes me how many soccer moms speed in those cars. Amazing.

July 13th, 2008

I need to write more. Not just blogs, but in general. I want to be a writer, but I just can't get to it! So hopefully I can stop telling myself how much I need to write and just do it!

I got married June 1st. Beautiful day, beautiful ceremony and reception, beautiful people! We had everyone we wanted there and everyone had a wonderful time. I can't complain about anything. My hairdresser was even late! But that doesn't even matter to me, oddly enough. I was so relaxed and laid-back you wouldn't have recognized me. And of course, I married the love of my life! I love Brandon so much, and I'm amazed at how, well, amazing he is sometimes. He can put up with me like no other can and I'm so thankful to have him by my side for the rest of my life. I can't wait for our adventures!

He left on June 20th for Fort Lewis for the summer. He's on the PT committee at LDAC. Last night I bought a plane ticket for August 12th to see him! It'll be at the end of his time there, and then either the 17th or 18th we're driving back in his Mustang. It'll be so much fun! Like a cool roadtrip. And a great way to end a kinda gloomy summer. We haven't had a full summer together ever. We're always apart! Even next year we will be. But I wait for him. :)

Then school starts. I have my senior thesis this semester... what should I do it on? I was thinking how popular culture changed in the face of the Vietnam war. Maybe! :)

And next year will be interesting. We'll be apart for most of it... but that's the Army, right? We'll make time for each other, on the weeks we can. What can we do, right? Right now we're slated to be stationed at Fort Carson, but that might change if Brandon gets aviation like he wants! But if we stay here, we're going to buy a townhome and begin a cool life as a married couple! Maybe get a puppy...?