Friday, January 30, 2009

Georgia on my mind

I'm moving to Georgia!! I changed my home of record with ROTC and they said they'll fly me out of Georgia for LDAC, which is in Washington, and I'll fly back to Georgia! I'm so excited because this means I won't be away from Brandon as long as I expected. As soon as the semester is over I'm driving myself out there and living there! So that's about mid-May. Then I'll probably have to leave about mid-June for LDAC. Once I get back in July, I'll be living there until Brandon is done! Or I go to training. A lot of things are not set in stone and we have to go with the flow. I'm just excited that we'll be together! Yay!


Tuesday, January 27, 2009


Just a quick note. I've been busy. Homework homework homework... tons of reading. It's enjoyable though. Taking each day as it is...

Here are some philosophical readings... the last two aren't exact quotes!

1. "We are born only once, and we cannot be born twice, and one must for all eternity exist no more. You are not in control of tomorrow and yet you delay your opportunity to rejoice. Life is ruined by delay and each and every one of us dies without enjoying leisure."

2. "If you take away the chance to see and talk and spend time with the beloved, then the passion of sexual love is dissolved."

3. "He who forgets the good which he previously had, has today become an old man."

4. "One should not spoil what is present by desiring what is absent, but rather reason out that these things too (what we have) were among those we might have prayed for."

5. "We should try to make the latter stretch of the road more important than the earlier one, as long as we are on the road; and when we get to the end of the road, we should feel a smooth contentment."

6. "One should bring this question to bear on all one's desires: what will happen to me if what is sought by desire is achieved, and what will happy if it is not?"

7. Fear of death is irrational, because you cannot fear the unknown.

8. In order to be wealthy, you must reduce your desires.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Who am I?

...I am a reformed speeder...
Ok, sure, I speed sometimes. I'll go like 5mph over the speed limit. And on campus I drive 25mph because, really, it's impossible to drive 10mph there... But other than that, no, I do not speed anymore. I actually go too slow sometimes! I try to stay as close to the speed limit as possible. So it bothers me when people speed, especially on Union. When they tailgate me and then speed past, I get angry. I need to work on my anger!

...I am an observer...
I've been like this since I was a little girl. I would sit by my parents while they had dinner with friends and just listen. I would observe, I would learn. I watch people, see how they act.

...I am a collector...
To go along with the observer, I am a collector. I collect information. I'm not one who is smart with books and the school-taught information, but I know weird facts. I read IMDB and Wikipedia all the time. I listen and observe people. I ask people questions, they answer, I remember. I remember birthdays, middle names, spouses names, where you are from...



Tuesday, January 20, 2009

What a day!

I bet no one reads my blog... but I chug on!

I ran my best so far. Quarter mile times: 1.57, 4.11, 6.49, 9.18. 9.18!! I was so excited! I know, most people wouldn't be proud with 9.18, but I am. It's showing so much improvement. I've improved a minute and 16 seconds in the last three weeks. OMG!

My classes today:

History 104, Modern Europe: It's a 100-level class, but it'll be a little harder. TONS of reading. But what can you do? The teacher is one of those "act tough so you think I'm cool" teacher. I'm not sure how I feel about her... everyone in the History department likes her though!

Philosophy 353, Hellenistic Philosophy: Teacher is nice, class is nice, readings are hard hard hard. Long and hard ;). Philosophy reading is always hard. I don't understand half of it! But I'll chug through.

History 421, History of Christianity: Oh, the one I was excited about. And it turned out great! My teacher is not religious, thank god, and it seems some people aren't religious in the class either. Yay! The readings are terribly long, but interesting. The teacher looked like a stuffy old man but he turned out to be awesome.

Oh, by the way, we have a new president as of 12:05pm EST, Barack Obama. We will see what happens! I was sad I didn't get to watch the inauguration because of class... maybe later!


Monday, January 19, 2009


During the winter, it snows. Because of the snow, the roads get icy. The north side of the apartments, which I face, are basically always in shade. So the snow and ice along the sidewalk doesn't melt for months. I know this, so I don't park back there anymore. It's a hill, I don't want to fight the ice!

The white car guy doesn't think like I do. He also can't drive in the snow.

This morning I woke up to wheels screeching on the road. I didn't think much of it. Then it kept going and going and going. I realized it was the white car guy again. This isn't the first time I've heard this sound from this car, so I recognized it pretty quickly. We've heard it early in the morning and late at night, which seems to be the only times this guy tries to go places.

I would be fine with him driving if he knew how to. He insists on parking on the north side where the ice is without any knowledge of how to drive on ice. So he slams on the gas and tries to will his car out, screeching the entire way. His car barely leave the spot because, like many of us know, you can try to speed off ice. You need to drive slowly, not quickly, or else your wheels won't stick. I want to go out there when I hear him and tell him he's an idiot if he needs a girl to tell him how to drive on ice.

Good morning, white car guy. I know you didn't learn your lesson this time!


Thursday, January 15, 2009

Can we trade?

Brandon never wanted to get Infantry as his branch. That was WAY down on his list! His first choice was Aviation, and then Signal, and then Medical Services (so he could fly medevac). Anyway, he got Signal as his branch, but with a branch detail to Infantry, which means he'll be in the Infantry for 3 to 4 years before he starts Signal. Ick.

He's torn between what he wants to do and what he feels he should do. He feels like he should stick with the Infantry because it would be cool to get a Ranger tab, and he doesn't want people to think he's wimpy for not going though all the way. He wants to switch to something, anything, because the strain Infantry would put on his body. Infantry is hard and it would suck for him to break down, he's still so young!

He's been talking to some guys down in Georgia, and one guy who has Medical Services totally wants to switch him. Some pros to that would be that he's not stuck in the Infantry and he could try and get Medevac. And his training would be much shorter! (Unless he gets aviation, then he'll be in training for a year and a half, but that's ok!). A con would be that he would be stuck in Med Services if he didn't get his flight packet approved (which could be good, depending on how he takes it!) and also the guy is scheduled to be stationed in Korea, and Brandon always said he didn't ever want to go to Korea! (Though it's funny because he'll even go to Korea to get out of the Infantry now!).

Another guy who has Aviation is considering switching with Brandon. Now that would be PERFECT. No pros and cons here, he'll take it in an instant.

Brandon found out yesterday that, if he does stay with what he is doing, his dates have changed! He doesn't start BOLC 3 until March 22 now, which puts him ending around June 18th. He will go to Mechanized Leader's Course afterwards for a month and probably won't start Ranger School until September. Now he'll be gone longer and I have no clue when I'll see him!

That's the Army!


Wednesday, January 14, 2009


I really haven't done much since Brandon has left! I'm waiting patiently for school to start. I'm excited because, oddly enough, I love school. I'm taking a history of Christianity class, which looks pretty cool. Hopefully it isn't full of religious nuts that look down on others! I'm taking a history of modern Europe class, which is a 100 level so it'll be full of freshman, but hopefully not too difficult. Then I'm taking Hellenistic Philosophy, to complete my Philosophy minor. This one will be pretty cool, hopefully... To round it out is my ROTC class, which is boring usually. But it's required.

I've been running, trying to get my run time down. It's difficult! I can do my quarter mile in about 2.01 minutes, that's what I'm usually at. I'm pretty proud of that, though I'd really love 1.55! I slow down a bit after that and my half mile has been around 4.30. The last one I did was 4.21, which was nice. The colonel wants it under 4 minutes, so I'm working on that. I finish the mile, which ends up around 10 minutes, sucky. But the last mile I did was 9.45. I'm getting down there!! I'd really love 8.30, which would put my two mile at 17 minutes if I kept that pace. I'd love a two mile at 18 minutes at the very least. I know, it's not that fast for most people, but it's fast for me!

When I turn 22, I won't have to worry about trying to make 60 points on my PT test run by 18.54, because my minimum time goes up to 19.36. That'll be a relief!


Saturday, January 10, 2009

Here we go again, same old stuff again

I think Brandon was watching his movie, fell asleep either during or shortly after, and forgot to plug in his dying phone, which has since turned itself off. Because I tried calling him and it goes straight to voicemail. We talked a couple hours earlier, so that's ok, but I always like to say goodnight to him. This is what I'll be facing with the two hour time difference.

My heart is heavy. I was fine yesterday but the quiet is getting to me already. This is why I worked 45 hours a week this past summer while he was gone. I had my routine, I did my things, I was busy. Today I was good until I got home after doing all my errands. Then I even felt pretty good. He was feeling down, but I felt fine. I haven't talked to him since then...


Friday, January 9, 2009

Gone, baby, gone

Brandon left this morning at 5am. I cried, of course. We've had a very busy week, with different social engagements and getting all our errands done. I kept my chin up and tried to stay strong and happy for him. I mean, what else can you do? He's leaving for the better part of a year (or the worst part?), and we can't do anything about it. This isn't the first time we've been apart, so I know the deal. It's just different.

Truth is, I'm terrified. I think I've been denying him leaving. And then him leaving, I compared it to all the other times he left, it'll just be longer than before. But oh my god, when he comes back, everything will be different. He'll be a platoon leader and have a real job. I won't be in college anymore. Hopefully I'll be an officer and about to know my branch, and about to start my own Army adventure. We're going to buy a house, start an IRA or two, move... wow, we're getting older, getting responsibilities, and everything is changing.

I'm going to repeat to myself this every time I feel bad: Every day is a new challenge, take every day one at a time. It'll put things into perspective for me. I need to stop looking so many months ahead and concentrated more on the present. Really, that's all we have.


Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Update on my mom and life

So she did get the defib put in! I guess the electrical specialist came in and saw that the reason she went into cardiac arrest was because she has a congenital heart defect. Some of her wiring isn't firing right, basically. Any pain can set her heart off and she could go into cardiac arrest, be it a stubbed toe or a broken arm. Anyway, they thought it best to put the defib in to prevent her heart stopping.

They still don't know what the original pain is, though today the GI guy will be doing a scope to look at the insides and see if he can see something out of place. If they can find the original pain, they'll fix it and hopefully it won't come anymore and stop her heart!

She's hanging out at the hospital still and doing good, keeping a good attitude. She'll have to take medicine for the rest of her life, which she isn't excited for, but it's better than nothing, right?

At home, we've moved Brandon's big desk and foosball table out, so it'll be easier when I move. It's starting to look VERY empty now... but I guess that's ok. He leaves soon! :(

<3 Chantal

Monday, January 5, 2009

Hospitals and Movies

My mom went to the hospital Saturday morning. She's been having chest pains for 6 weeks now, seemingly random, and this one was worse than ever before. Here it is explained in an email from my step-brother, Matt:

"Dad woke me up around 4:45 AM. "Jan, Ambulance." De ja vu. I turned on all the lights to make sure they knew which house to go to and started flashing them when I could see the ambulance on the road. They left around 5:15 AM. After Jan arrived at the ER, the pain started again, and her heart stopped for about two minutes; as a result of this, her brain stopped receiving oxygen and she went into a seizure. Dad immediately recognized the signs and shouted for a crash cart. They quickly defibbed and she was OK again, but unconscious. They then took her in for an angiogram and found no blockage in any of her major arteries, but did see that her heart muscle was not contracting properly; the stress on her heart from the intermittent pain she's been having over the past couple of months apparently caused this damage."

So basically they say that the pain is not caused by her heart. The reason her heart freaked out and she went into cardiac arrest was because she was in so much pain her body couldn't handle it.

Right now the doctors want to put in a defib on her heart, which basically would be permanent, in case the pain comes again and her heart stops again. Mom and John are trying to avoid that, of course, because she would have it forever. They have a Gastro-Intestinal doctor working on her, though after a series of scans and other tests, they found nothing. She's perfectly healthy.

She'll be in the hospital for a little bit, until they find out what's wrong. I'm pretty sure both her and John are getting impatient (most especially John! He gets impatient in hospitals, haha), and they want to leave soon with some liquid morphine and no diagnosis. I told them to try and be patient, the doctors will hopefully come up with something. We'll see though!

As for movies, I wanted to say we've been watching a ton. Though our Matrix movie was messed up and we couldn't watch the third one :(. Otherwise, lots of movies! We went to the theatres yesterday and saw "Seven Pounds." Very intense, I wanted to cry but restrained myself, unlike one girl a few rows up who was literally sobbing. She was making us uncomfortable! I prayed for loud sounds in the movie to drown out the cries...

Brandon leaves in 4ish days. Not that I'm counting. We packed everything and we're just waiting to go.

<3 Chantal