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Sunday, May 10, 2009

Disillusionment

I've become disillusioned with life.

I feel like I keep waiting for something to happen, and then... this is it. Nothing ever really HAPPENS, ya know what I mean? You have these incredible dreams of grandeur and then you get here, and all you are is here. When will you get there? Does that make sense? It's just overwhelming to think that this is it. Wake up, eat breakfast, shower, do work, socialize, fight, laugh, cry, eat some more, chat, drive places, eat some more, watch TV, chat, go to bed. Rewind, start again!

I need to take a few months off of life for a bit. Just to figure out some things. Who I am, what I am, where I am, why I am. The usual. I need to clear my mind, center my soul, learn to breathe again, learn to be happy again, and get some freedom of disturbance. Those Hellenistic philosophers had it right all along. Epoche is really the most important thing.

I digress.

I'm burnt out on life. I need a five minute smoke break from it, just to get away. Away from ALL of it.

This is all I can think about these days.

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